Saturday, September 23, 2006Ramblings
Ah if only I was as eloquent as Lenora.
I'm in the middle of a personal transformation, though the worst part of it all is that I'm not really sure where I'm headed--what the final transformation will be like.
(not to worry, I'm not turning submissive. Hardly.)
I've wanted to write about it, but it isn't even clear in my mind, so writing it out is difficult.
The internal turmoil is related to power, personal power. I hit a rough patch in my own growth, and my sense of personal power was diminished greatly. I became adrift in my own self-doubt. It showed here in a sharp decrease of posts. It showed other places, too.
I learn, I grow, I change. I am exploring my spirituality and my relationship with my body. I'm exploring the ideas of trust and faith--in myself and outside of it.
As I've written and will probably continue to write, I am working on embracing my dominant wholly without guilt or shame. Seems to be going all right, when it works.
I gave pet a nice reward for his hard work around the house this weekend. See, I'm not all sadist! ;)