Wednesday, August 31, 2005Undiscovered Country
My orgasm has gone missing. Put out an all points bulletin, start doing random car searches, because it took off without leaving a note.
I've mentioned before I'm not an easy score, and pregnancy just about killed the orgasm all together, but it came back (at least it could HAPPEN) after birth. Now, it's gone again. It's like that planet in the Star Trek TNG episode where they steal the children--sometimes you find it, sometimes you don't. They lived with this big computer that they couldn't control, much like my own libido. A mythical place with a mystery control center that no one can understand or tap into reliably. Dang I just nerdified myself big time.
I know what turns me on, don't get me wrong. Sheesh, anyone who reads this blog knows what turns me on. I have no problems getting wet, getting aroused, getting excited, wanting sex, wanting orgasm. I love being with pet, in all ways D/s or not. I love his cock, I love his hairy chest, I love making him squirm. I love ass fucking him until he screams.
Should I blame my friend Hitachi, too strong? Should I blame my enemies fatigue and breastfeeding hormones? Should I blame the mommy in me who perks up to every shift or sigh over the baby monitor? My busy mind that is thinking about the grocery list even when trying so hard to focus on the task at hand? Can't be lack of material, given the fantastic bloggers out there. I certainly don't blame pet, who has learned tons in the last few years and even more in the last few months.
Anyway, if any of you happen by my orgasm out there, tell it the vacation is over, and it's time to get back to work!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005No News is Sleepy News
No new sex fun to report, too much taking advantage of sleep time around here. Sad. Blame little Stewie and renewed committment to exercise (we have to keep in shape for our exploits, and we are cranky and sore).
Here is a sex haiku, because I can:
She stands before him
Dressed in red and dripping wet
Naked her desire
Monday, August 29, 2005Chat
Well, in an attempt to locate like minded D/s individuals to compare notes, make friends, etc. I ventured back into the world of IMs and chat rooms. It is scary out there.
I mostly encountered spam and propositions. How interesting it is that people are just willing to bare all within seconds of meeting or talking to someone. I don't know his name, but he's showing me his cock. Another doesn't know my name but is willing to come see me and serve me. Good heavens, I could be a serial killer for all they know. Or they could be. Why is everyone in such a hurry? I might enjoy kink, but I'm not one for the hit and run sexual encounter. Plus, I always say I'm committed and not looking, and this is not a deterrant for most of them. My wise husband pointed out that when you can't get what you need in real life, you become a bit desprate looking for kink in any place you can find it.
I consider myself a very lucky girl that pet decided to go down this road with me, and I am so glad I'm not out there trolling for a sub, desprate to explore my sexuality with no willing partner. Ug, I feel for them.
Anyway, if any of you readers/fellow bloggers do yahoo messanger, feel free to look me up, my ID is josephine_anonymous.
Thursday, August 25, 2005Search Terms
Ok, I usually don't post twice in a day, but seriously this is funny stuff. All grammar and caps have been kept original.
Search term 1:
do woman want there pussy ate after a man cums in it?
Temple PW says: YES, they do, but learn to speak and spell properly first.
Search term 2:
I HAVE THE PUSSY SO I MAKE THE RULES
Temple PW says: DAMN STRAIGHT!
Search term 3:
sometimes i just want a big dick in my pussy
Temple PW says: most of the time, really. Don't settle for sometimes, girls, just buy one if your man doesn't possess natural gifts. Then use it on him, then switch condoms and use it on you too. Woot!
I also wanted to draw attention to two hot picture blogs we love here at the Temple:
http://www.flashthegash.blogspot.com (the lovely Sarah and friends, yummy)
http://www.welovebiggirls.blogspot.com (yummy real women)
Makes a girl like me consider going bi more and more every day...
This is not real.
I got home earlier than expected from a night out with the girls. I take these nights to myself and leave the pet alone with the children to clear my mind of mommyhood and partnerhood. Just to be me, without obligation. But, even in that space I feel a pull home, so I leave early without consuming the requisite girly drinks.
When I get home, all is very quiet. The children are in bed, on time and the dishes are done. He has been a good pet while I was gone. I figure he turned in early, not expecting me home for a few hours yet. Then I hear it. Buzzing, from the bedroom. I smile wickedly--someone is in trouble...
I slip off my shoes and walk as quietly as I can to the room. Obviously he didn't hear me come in. The door to the bedroom is locked, but I unlock it with the key we keep on the doorframe and open it ever so quietly. That's when I see him.
He's got my stockings on. Black thigh highs with lace tops that don't really go up as far as they should on his long legs. I can see leg hair poking out here and there, but mostly his legs are swathed in black silk. They are attached to my black garter belt, and over that a black baby doll nightgown. I have no high heels that fit him so instead of wearing them I can see he has gotten a pair out to look at, touch and smell. They lay now by his head, nearby but not in use. He hasn't seen me or heard me because he is face down on the bed, ass high in the air and moaning into a pillow. He's got his butt plug buried in his ass and my vibrator on top of it, pushing it into him in rhythmic thrusts. He is moving his hips into the bed with each thrust, but is not touching his cock. Clearly he is drawing out his pleasure, savoring the experience.
I'm on him and he starts violently. I climb on the bed in one movement and whisper in his ear "oh you are a dirty little slut and you need to be fucked like the whore you are." His heart is beating fast, I scared him but now I can see the twinkle in his eye. "You're home early," he manages to blurt out. "Quiet pet, I do the talking from now on. Besides, your mouth will be full soon enough." I get naked quick, and strap on the dildo we share. "On your knees, slut," I say and as he scrambles up I remind him to keep the butt plug in his ass. I stand over him on the bed and shove my cock in his face. He sucks eagerly, and I moan and fuck his face. He sucks, takes much of the cock but not all into his mouth. As he sucks the back of the dildo hits my clit and I get too shaky to be on my feet.
"Back in position," I bark, and he is back with his ass in the air in record time. My things do look good on him, he is quite sexy in black lace. I use the dildo to smack his ass, and with each smack he moans and thanks me like a good pet. He knows he's in trouble, and he's kissing up. I smack him hard, then switch to my bare hand and alternate buttocks until he is glowing red and trembling for release. He isn't saying anything--he is well trained enough to know better. I locate the lube and slide the cock in his ass in one harsh stroke. He groans, a pain/pleasure sound I love to hear. I begin to fuck him in earnest, glad he's spent time training himself so I don't worry about hurting him. I can see his balls dangling and grab them harshly, pulling and stretching them while I thrust into him. He is becoming frantic, his hips have starting slamming back into me outside of his control. He feels heavy and pliable--a good sign he is submitting.
"Turn over," I say and pull out of him. He does as I ask without protest. On his back his cock stands straight up out of the lingerie and I mount him and fuck him, cumming quickly--quick enough that by some miracle he doesn't. Lucky him. I move up to his face and sit, smothering him in my juices and he eats me, the second time he's given me head tonight. I cum again, and he licks my pussy clean.
"Hungry?" I ask him, then without waiting for a response I climb off and lay down. "Cum on my breasts," I say. He complies, jumping up quickly and getting on his knees beside me. He strokes himself and cums quickly, then knows without being told what his true punishment for the night is. He leans down and licks every bit of his cum off my breasts.
We collapse together and I hold him, murmuring encouraging words and calling him my sweet little slut, and we both fall into a blissful sleep.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005Author Fantasy
I have this fantasy that I am an author, but I have a routine I follow to write a book. I lock myself in a room in a secluded location, like a cottage, then have a bell on a string as my communication with the outside world. I ring once for food, twice for sex, and constantly for emergency. I'll admit that's all the farther I've flushed this one out, since I don't really have an author's bone in my body. I shared this with my wife, and we decided that if I did get this fantasy, I would put all kinds of books out fast because I would have all my base needs met on demand. We also decided that if she was allowed to write books under the same bell-ringing fantasy, she would ring the bell three times in the morning, I would bring food up for the whole day and then we would fuck all day, and she would never write a page. To each her own!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005Switch
"Can I tie you up?" He asked, a huge smile on his face.
"Only if you stick to the agreement," I replied. He had agreed that he could taunt, tease and tantalize me all day, as long as I got the first orgasm. If he came first, he promised to eat it. I was looking forward to seeing him fail, really.
I settled back on the bed, not a four poster so he sent some nylon strapping underneath and tied my wrists a la this post, one to each side of the strap. I had enough play to let myself free, but my arms bent only slightly. I was trapped. He set a sarong over my face to act as blindfold, one I've used on him before.
He proceeded to tease me as promised. He ran his hands lightly over my belly, my thighs, my breasts. I shivered in my exposure and goose bumps raised on my skin. He blew cold air over my expectant flesh and I began to moan. I reached to caress him but was stopped by the restraints. He smiled, and told me how much more exciting this was than he expected. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my leg, and was hoping he would give in and cum first. He had other plans.
He moved between my legs for his favorite activity, pussy worship. He licked my lips, nibbled my inner thighs and began licking and sucking my clit. I was excited, moving against him but not orgasmic. I was too busy thinking about the agreement, wanting to arouse him. He moved away from me then, and for the first time I felt truly out of control. He went into the bedside table drawer and I had no idea what he was looking for. I heard a condom rip and assumed he was going to fuck me. I gushed wetness in anticipation of him eating his cum. He leaned over me, but instead of his cock I felt our bigger dildo slide inside me. Tricky pet!
He fucked me hard with the dildo, hitting my gspot and making me writhe. He resumed his worship of my pussy, sucking and even lightly biting my clit until I came, hard, in a rush and telling him how lucky he was. He gave me a brief respite, then did everything again, forcing a second orgasm out of my bound body.
He untied me, rock hard, and got dressed. His fun would have to wait until later.
Monday, August 22, 2005Who Goes There?
All of a sudden, pet is a new man. He chalks it up to extra sleep and the many many conversations we've had recently that start with a failed attempt at D/s, and end with lots of talk and bargaining and conversation about ourselves.
Yay intimacy, painful it may be but productive too.
Here is my favorite tidbit of conversation of the last few weeks, sparked by the ongoing Poly discussion around my favorite blogs (though I've always been a "little bit poly", just never given the opportunity):
Me: I just wonder, you know, if we met someone as fabulous as we are with each other, if we would be open to poly...
Pet: I don't close the door on anything anymore. What gender would they be? You know my vote (female).
Me: You know mine (male). Hey, what about your friend *hotniceguy* from college? He'd make a great third.
Pet: That would be too weird.
Me: Yes, your other college friends would be saying "dude, your wife is kissing *hotniceguy*," and you'd reply "that's cool."
Pet: What about, "dude, you're kissing *hotniceguy*." "That's cool."
Hee hee. I will always maintain that there is NOTHING wrong with two boys at the same time (nod to Office Space fans).
Sex posts to follow. I ponder this: am I still dominant if he ties me up ;)
Friday, August 19, 2005Buttfucking Bliss
We started out light hearted, making an agenda for the "meeting" we were about to have. She proposed one item, ass fucking me with the purple dildo. I suggested that we also have some cock sucking all around, as long as the dildo was to be on the table. We tossed out some other ideas, but we both were really wanting to get going so we launched right into item number one.
We lay in nice 69 position, her sucking my cock and holding the dildo for me to suck. This was quite a pleasant experience for both of us, actually it totally rocked. It was good, so we lingered on this point a while, then revisited it after a short respite.
The thing I'm learning about anal sex is that more is better. It seems that if I don't keep my ass ready and waiting through continuous anal play, it gets tight again and makes it a bit unpleasant when the hole is revisited by our purple dong, or anything else for that matter. We used what felt like half a bottle of lube getting it in there, even after some pre-dong fingering to stretch it.
My ass was sensitive to the ridges of the purple beast, and even a slightly vigorous pounding was too much, so I asked for her to stop for a moment, and then resume again, slowly. This was much better, and I found that while the sliding was very nice, it wasn't nearly as stimulating as pulling it out and sticking it in again. This pleasuring of my ass when on for some time, and my wife commented that she really liked the view and the position I was in, and could see why I liked it so much.
After some more of that, she said it was her turn to be face down ass up, and she wanted me to fuck her hard. I held the dildo in my ass with my free hand and smacked her ass a little with the other while pounding away. She came, and then I finished myself off on her back, which we have found so arousing for a while now. All in all, a great, fun, night of sex with a day at the office theme.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005Seconds
I feel like a thief of time lately, stealing seconds whenever we can to make love. We are adapting to so many new things, having two kids, my lack of a job (planned, but not always easy), and of course little Stewie the high needs baby. He's teething, so maybe after those suckers come through we'll get some sleep finally...maybe.
The other day a can of chocolate frosting migrated its way into the bedroom and we spent exactly seven minutes playing. Pet put a dab of frosting on my right inner thigh and started to lick. Takes some work to get that frosting clean so he spent some time there. Then he moved to the other thigh, and wrote "ass", so he'd be licking my ass. I had intended this to go much further, even to my actual ass, when little Stewie interrupted. The frosting is still there, though, waiting for us to return.
Another stolen second: I indulged a fantasy of mine--touch training. We were kissing, rolling around and generally getting pet very hard and horny. He spent some time on my feet, first a gentle rub down of each foot. I like it when he takes his time there, relaxes my whole body and he is very excited by my feet. He used his warm hands to press and rub all the tension out of the balls of my feet, then pressed lightly on the heels. He then began his foot worship in earnest, though he always rushes through it and really needs to learn some self control. This time he spent some time gently licking my feet, especially the arches where I'm quite sensitive. Then he began biting, too fast and too hard so I gave him a bit of verbal correction. This threw off the whole rhythm of what we were doing and we never really got back to sexual stuff and spent time fussing at each other instead. Yuck. I've never had any trouble expressing my needs but for some reason he doesn't always respond well. I've got to learn better ways...thank heaven for my mentors out there in cyberworld!
And the last, best stolen second: I was feeling less than my best, pet was a horny monster so I went whole hog into another fantasy. Again we started with cuddling and he did a much better job touching and caressing every part of me as to get me wet. We engaged in a bit of sheer fucking--he slid his cock in and out of me slowly and forced himself to remain in control of his orgasm while I squeezed my pussy muscles and moved my hips to meet his. In the past he would have been cumming in seconds but he managed to go much longer. It was fantastic! He began to suffer, though, and started whispering places on my body he wanted to cum--toes, ass, back of my knee...but I had other plans. I instructed him and he sat on his haunches before me. I was laying down missionary style and he stroked his hard cock directly into my pussy until he came all over. Then he leaned down and cleaned me up with his tongue, eating every bit of cum out of me.
That last bit was quite delightful, and now he owes me an orgasm. I'm quite pleased with pet's response to my desires, even if he has to stop and think about it before recommitting to submission. This journey isn't easy, but it sure is fun!
Monday, August 15, 2005Addicted to Sex
I'm definitely addicted to fucking my Mistress. No asides or tangents today, just hot, fucking sex!
It started out in the morning. We cuddled a little, and then the baby cried, so we had to stop. A few hours later, he went back down, so we hopped in the sack again, and started pleasuring each other, only to be stopped again by the baby, crying. We took turns reading aloud from She Comes First, the book we just bought on a recommendation from the Secretive Slave. We didn't get into technique or anything yet, but we did agree with most everything in the introduction and first chapter. We went out for chocolate, and upon returning, put the sleeping baby back in the crib again. This time, more success on the sex front!
I had only one desire at this point, to be her submissive and please her completely! I told her so, and then went to work on her body. I licked and kissed and touched her all over, then told her how I wanted her to want nothing but to shove my head between her legs and deep into her pussy. She found this very enticing and soon after I found myself doing just that. I kissed and licked and nuzzled into her clit, making her wet and giving her goosebumps. I continued until she came, legs flailing and her hands gripping my hair, pushing me deep into the ridges of her vagina.
After a short relaxation period, I found myself instinctively and almost involuntarily fingering her pussy again. It was wet, really wet, half drool and half her, and so I easily slipped a finger in and started wiggling on her G-spot. I scooted down the bed again and began to lick her clit once more while fingerfucking her and rubbing her inside. She writhed in pleasure, and came again!
We were interrupted by her needing to go to an appointment she made weeks ago. She told me that I can stay hard and touch my cock as much as I like, and really do any sexual activity with myself as I see fit, but I cannot orgasm until she returns. So while she was out and I was alone with the baby (still asleep, woohoo!), I took the opportunity to browse the latest porn freebies at Thumbzilla. I watched a bunch of movies and browsed a lot of pages, having to stop myself from cumming all over myself almost every page, even having to physically move my hand to the desk to keep myself from accidentally squeezing that last, point of no return squeeze. The baby woke, and so I washed up and took care of the baby until she returned.
When she returned, she brought food, which is the surest way to my heart, as she well knows. My mistress does take good care of me! About an hour or so of baby night-time ritual and food consumption followed her return, and after that, we retreated to the bedroom once again. I presented her with my leash and collar, and she accepted the offer and locked me up quickly. She told me that I had been a good pet and therefore deserved a reward, and that was to pick which way to cum with her. I was torn between fucking her ass cheeks, her armpit, or her breasts. I eventually chose breasts since they are so large from the breastfeeding, and when they are smaller, it's harder to do.
I mounted her, my ass on her stomach, and began to smooth my saliva all around between her mighty breasts. My dick was so hard already that I was practically done before I even made contact with her, but I controlled myself a little and managed to get some good friction going. She squeezed her bosom for me, and I penetrated her chest with a nice rocking motion. I came quickly, giving her a nice pearl necklace and managing to get just a drop on her chin. The less on her face, the better, since she isn't that keen on having jizz all over her face and mouth. I, however, took the opportunity to lick the little bit off her chin, and play with the piles of cum on her neck with my tongue. Naturally, this sends shivers of pleasure down her spine.
We cleaned up a bit and snuggled up together, then retired for the night after a long day of interrupted sex.
Thursday, August 11, 2005Derailed
Since we've started the D/s journey, we've found that we often hit a snag somewhere in the middle of lovemaking and have to stop. Mainly, we find that one or the other of us miscommunicated a desire and put unwarranted pressure on the other.
We're finding that pet needs clear, specific direction at all times while subbing or he gets stressed and overwhelmed trying to please me but not knowing how. I think I often forget just how inexperienced a lover he was before me, because he was so eager (was, HA, still is). I'm glad now for this D/s opportunity to train him correctly in the art of pleasing a lover, instead of allowing him to flounder around. With D/s on board, I can give him clear direction without feeling bossy or feeling like I'm ignoring his needs. During scene, his needs are my needs, and we both do better.
I'd like to set up some training sessions for him. I find that he really enjoys the parts of D/s that are focused on him--when I restrain him and torture him with sensation, or when I rough him up and fuck him, basically use him for my pleasure whatever that is. However, when it comes to my desire to be touched, caressed, stroked or generally loved on, he freaks out because he doesn't know "how". No amount of reassurance relaxes him, and he just shuts down. I'm envisioning a kind of body part by body part tour, ENDING with the clit, which he doesn't need much training on.
Hm, more on this later, perhaps. Please feel free to add ideas, comments if you like--we do enjoy the feedback. Oh, and for those of you who enjoyed the cum eating story, I am going to take you up on your advice and explore that further, too. Pet loves to cum all over my toes, I think that is a good place to start.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005Google Search Words and Hot Sex
Before I start into the hot sex that befell us yesterday, I want to share something a little on the lighter side of blogging a D/s blog. Our blog is filled with lots and lots of sex vocabulary, and therefore is quite searchable. See the statistics tracker for a short list of common ones. The most usual, by far, is of course, "Pussy Worship" or some variant thereof. The less usual but more telling ones are things like "fuck my pussy harder" or "Please let me lick your asshole" or perhaps "play with my pussy." I know I enjoy all those things, so I hope they found what they were looking for! Anyway, the more humorous part of all this is that we happened across the search phrase "I'll worship only at the feet of the cross" and I don't think they meant St. Andrew's Cross. Again, I hope they found what they were looking for!
I was feeling super-submissive and trusting, plus I had strengthened my resolve to let go of my orgasm control, so I really wanted to hop into bed and get busy subbing. My Mistress picked up on this subbing behavior, so she collared me and smothered me with kisses. She pinned my hands above my head and told me not to make a sound because the kids were in the adjoining room watching a movie. (We do love movies for kids when we're feeling horny and want to "take a nap." It's probably the only time we really condone it.) So I bit my lip and she went to work stimulating me.
She traced my body with her fingers, lightly, which tickled like crazy, but I didn't make more than a grunt. I just squirmed a whole lot and enjoyed it. Then she traced me a little more with her tongue, stopping around my nipples to give me some hickeys. Then she moved down to my cock, and stroked it a little, making it pretty hard and me pretty sensitive. She took me by surprise at that point and spread my legs wide. I was feeling very vulnerable while so exposed. She started to lick my balls, which did just about make me scream. I think I squeaked a little, but it didn't matter because I was being such a good sub at the time, if I do say so myself. I know this because of what followed.
She then told me to fuck her from behind, pulling out just before I came and then shooting it all over her ass and the small of her back. I put on the condom, then fucked her to orgasm (that was unexpected, usually I'm done before then) and then on until I was ready to come. I yanked off the condom, grabbed my dick and squeezed, launching my semen all over her back and into her ass. It was really, really hot. She had me clean her up and then we cuddled for a while.
Back on to the search words, I think I'll throw a few more down just to see what other weird traffic we can divert. Spooge jizz tacos dishwasher detergent vote for Pedro I can't feel my toes big giant huge tiny little Amazon penis prick lips flaps fart in a jar peanut butter mustard vacuum melt dolphin swim supercollider.
Sunday, August 07, 2005Whip Me, Beat Me
I have been obsessed with spanking lately, and while my mistress is more than willing to induldge me, she was holding back a bit up until yesterday. Here's the situation: The baby is asleep, I'm reading D/s blogs and she's cuddling with me. Then, I make some comment like "remember when I fingered you and spanked you at the same time?" and she said "yeah, that was hot," so I followed with "Maybe you could do a kind of spanking on me and a reach-around manuver or something?" to which she said "get in the bedroom and drop your pants."
This was surprising and exciting for me, so of course, I did it right away. I had my pants around my ankles and as I was bending over to untie my shoes, she pushed me forward, face down, onto the bed (gently of course, I could have stopped myself but I like it when she's a little rough with me). She got up on the bed next to me, and after a few practice slaps, she found a sweet spot where she had a pretty good shot at my ass with her right hand and a nice hold on my dick with her left. We stayed this way for a while, her stoking my cock and slapping my ass, keeping me just hard enough but not over the top hard.
The pain from the spanking was giving me second thoughts, and even worse, analytical thoughts. Since we weren't really D/s'ing right then, I started making half-hearted suggestions like "if you aim more for the cheek of my ass than half-cheek, half-thigh, it might hurt less" and "Sometimes, when you slap across both cheeks, I get either a rush of pain like you're driving a nail into my prostate or a rush of air. Both are equally unsettling." She said "uh huh. done?" I said "yep" and then she went on her merry way slapping wherever and however she liked. I really expected nothing less, even when not really D/s'ing, she still exhibits mistress behavior. If I had a real complaint, it's on me to say the safe word and get it straightened out. As it was, my ass cheeks were just burning from the intense, constant barrage of spanking; a situation I had been desiring for a while.
I had read a little about spanking from other blogs, how it is used for weight control, discipline, and sexual intercourse, but I never really understood it. I saw some pictures of bright red (sometimes bleeding) asses and just didn't get why it was so desirable and so sexually intoxicating. My mistress talked a lot about the burning sensation turning into a warm sensation as the blood flowed to the surface, and feeling good. I really just wanted to experience it myself. I can safely say that it is painful, though exhilirating. I hope we add it to our arsenal of sexual activities.
Back to the action! There I am, face down, red ass up, being yanked on and fondled then slapped and smacked. I find myself drooling on the bed and precumming on her hand. The pain from the spanking was enough to kill my erection, but the stroking was enough to keep it, so I stayed half-hard the whole time. She then slowed the spanking down, and put me in charge of my orgasm. She lay on the bed, her head at my waist so she had a front row seat for the orgasm to come, but still gave me a little slap every so often while I rubbed myself into a frenzy and finally exlpoded onto the sheets below. I managed to get some on my chest, practically defying gravity, I came with such force.
My mistress was rather pleased with herself after this, so I went to work on her, and after just a little bit of stimulating she came as well. Given that the baby was waking up and triggering her mommy instinct, the fact that she came speaks volumes to the arousal triggered by the spanking.
Friday, August 05, 2005Talk Dirty to Me
We were talking, pet and I, about many things the other night but eventually the topic landed on orgasm.
I, it appears, am heavily into orgasm control. I can't think of anything that gives me more of a rush than denying orgasm, delaying orgasm, or generally frustrating pet to the point of mania.
The problem, you see, is that the more he wants to cum the more he will do for me. I don't know if it's a guy thing or a universal thing (because I am the same way to a degree), but once he wants to orgasm, he looses all control of his mental faculties and will do pretty much anything.
Why on earth would I let that mood go to waste by actually LETTING him? I am a bitch sometimes, but a fun one!
Turns out that his intense desire for orgasm and fear I won't ever let him cum (more legitimate than he likes) keeps him from dropping into subspace on many occasions. And I appear to react by wanting to quit the whole project because--well, if he doesn't want to relinquish control what is the point after all? It is a weird thing--I know it is my responsibility to make sure we are both taken care of emotionally and physically while I'm Domming--I relish that role and take it very very seriously. I would never hurt pet on purpose--everything I do serves to benefit us both in the long run or I wouldn't do it. I'm not much of a Sadist, just a Dominant. But I see his point that giving up control means risking every time that I won't take care of us both--that I'll let him go for days or weeks without orgasm. To me that borders on torture, but on the other hand every time he subs that power is mine to wield or the whole point of D/s is moot. I don't want to role play or have rough sex, I want to Domme in every sense of the word and if that means no orgasm for weeks, that is what it means. So he has to trust not that I will let him cum, but that I know what is best for our sexual health and enjoyment even if he doesn't think so.
He does admit I've not let him down in the orgasm department yet, even when I did play with denial for a bit. He's not suffered yet in any way, apart from the fear of it.
There is a post at Freya's House of Dreams (a blog I somehow missed but won't anymore) by her husband and Dom that really says things more eloquently than I can. Check it out here. A loving Dom if I ever saw one.
Anyway, here's the fun result of this discussion:
In talking all about orgasm and the loss of self control, pet remarked that he would often jerk off and imagine eating the result. This makes me wildly horny. I get wet even now typing about it a few days later. My god, the smutty, base, slutty thought of him eating his own cum makes my head spin and my clit throb. And imagining him as a teenager (I knew him then, too), holed up in the family bathroom with a Victoria's Secret catalog, caressing his cock and fantasizing about eating his cum, oh yummy yummy. See, I loose all ability to complete sentences.
With the kiddos around, we've resorted to a kind of mutual masturbation that involves him and a webcam for my later viewing pleasure. He gets off on the exhibitionism and I get off on the movies plus his willingness to make them for me.
Yesterday I cued up the new video and found this gem:
Pet is laying on his back with his ass in the air. His body is in an L shape with his lower back and ass supported by the bed and some pillows. His cock, therefore, is pointed directly at his face. He's already quite hard and his hand is moving up and down his cock. I can see his body making those pleasant little movements that say all the nerves are firing, everything feels good. I have an excellent view of his whole body, laid out and bare for me. He is focused, his face intent on his task--lost in the process and imagining what he's about to do. I can hear his breath coming fast and see his chest heaving in excitement. He's panting. He's clearly hot because it is over fast, and jets of cum shoot all over his face and open mouth. The last shot is of his face as he reaches to turn off the camera, clearly covered in his juices.
He did it, he ate his cum for me to watch. Don't I have the best pet ever?
Monday, August 01, 2005Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired
You know, I feel like I'm done having children. Perhaps it has something to do with the tiny tyrant running my sex life (not to mention the rest of my life) into the ground. I have visions of him at 2 a.m. with a little Napoleon hat talking like Stewie from Family Guy ("oh yes, mother, bring the life giving milk. What's that, sleep? Intimacy with daddy? Mwhahahahahahaha). If my first one had been this hard the new one might not have made it to the planet at all...
Not that those of you who have kids on the way (kaylem) should be worried at all. Mwahahahahaha. No I'm kidding. No really.
In more erotic news, I got the soon to be christened "Bondage Chair" chair out of the garage and it is all ready to be used. I even practiced using the rope a bit so I don't feel all silly when it comes down to it. I posted a while back about one use for it, here's another option:
I tie him to the chair, hands behind his back and legs to the front chair legs. He is naked and it is a bit cold, making his nipples stand up and goose bumps run lightly over his flesh. I put him in front of the TV and pop in our favorite new movie, Secretary. He watches, and it drags a bit so nothing happens at first. But at the first spanking, I can see him get hard. I watch as his cock gets harder and harder, and I know from knowing him how badly he wants to touch it. When he is hard enough I unbind his legs and slide on silk stockings. I want him to feel every inch of the silk as I draw each stocking up to his thigh. I know this turns him on, because he is my little slut. He might be a big tough man, but he is my dirty slut and he knows it. Loves it. I stroke his legs through the silk and his cock bobs and weaves in response. I keep him tied to the chair.
I get ice from the kitchen and return to a dripping cock. He is whimpering. I rub the ice down his chest and onto his cock and balls. He yelps loudly and tries to get away, but he is tied in place. I stroke his balls delicately with the ice, then rub it across his asshole. He is thrashing around--my pet is very sensitive.
I'm not sure what this would do to his hard on, all the more reason to try it, but I can get him hard fairly quickly if I want to with a bit of sucking and flicking my tongue around his engorged head.
He begs to lick my ass, so I bend over in front of him. He licks my asshole and I can hear him getting more and more aroused. I turn around and sit on his lap, sinking him into my pussy. "Don't cum" I tell him and ride him wildly, because I know it will make him cum. He shouts and bites my shoulder as he orgasms, then apologizes and looks to me for forgiveness. I untie him and take him into my arms. He spends the next half hour licking and sucking me all over and we start again...