Thursday, August 10, 2006Training
I've been struggling about how to discuss the training program I've started with pet, because a lot of it is based on very personal, non-sexual issues.
I might be an exhibitionist but not for the more emotional side of all this. I find that much more private than anything sexual. Sex is commonplace, predictable. Our training program goes far beyond ass stretching and cunnilingus exercises (though we do that, and that is very fun).
Much of my training is focusing on how to help pet be more trusting, more willing to give over, how to maintain his personality and identity as a separate person while still submitting to me. How to get his needs met. A tricky careful dance that is really an hour by hour process.
He's put some basic tenets on the back of the closet door to read each morning.
He mentioned household chores, and yes that's part of it but not as you'd imagine. We tend to split things pretty equally, he does the lion's share of outdoor activities as we live in a hot climate and I'm an air conditioning person. In fact, from the outside you'd see us as pretty traditional, which always gives me a laugh to consider. He is learning to maintain some chores, but the point is making my life easier while getting his needs met so he is happy, rather than doing this chore or that chore. He has to learn balance, or he is miserable. My job is to help teach him how to balance with the strict expectation that he work in all things to make sure I'm pleased.
I'm at my most pleased when he is happy and fulfilled, as well as I am happy and fulfilled. This is the secret of D/s for us--making sure he feels cared for, so that he is free to serve me without worry. But it is his job to tell me what care he needs, and his job to follow through. This is where the heart of our training lies--allowing pet to know himself so he can take care of himself...so he can serve me.
It appears to be going well, so far.