Friday, April 28, 2006We interrupt this blog
For a shoutout.
Have I mentioned lately how much I love Remmy?
Go there, enjoy the beauty. I love his smile.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006More on D/s outside of sex
Or, I could just copy/paste Lenora's post, seen here. She rocked this one.
Sometimes, I find myself too involved in our situation to be particularly eloquent about it. I'm frustrated, I'm nervous, I'm horny, I'm all those things and giddy happy and more on a daily basis, because we are in love and living our lives together. That means more than just this D/s business. It means a whole host of things.
I love my husband. That will never change.
You can read our archives and see how we've journeyed here, and that we both know there is more journey to come. Each day gives me an opportunity to confront my fears and allow myself to be fully dominant, fully myself. Each day gives pet an opportunity to confront his fears and be fully submissive. Fully himself. We have past hurts in our lives that keep us from trusting easily. That doesn't mean we can't, just that we have to be aware.
Pet's submission to me, while not perfect (cause we all know I AM perfect, heh), is certainly more than I could have asked for. I honestly never expected him to participate at all. I'm very grateful for each attempt we make to go deeper together. We will continue to make attempts.
I might get frustrated and want more--so might he. We'll get through it, learn and grow as we always do. I do believe this takes two people who are consenting, and to consent you have to be fully informed. Consider our fussing just that, a way to increase our knowledge of ourselves.
I'll instruct pet to add his comments, also.
Monday, April 24, 2006Dominating without Sex
saratoga, here, discusses training and Dominance. Proposes the theory of the D/s IV--give a bit each day, drip it into the vein, to keep the fires burning.
An interesting idea, and one I've tried (lightly) in the past.
I had mixed bag results, including in some cases building resentment. In pet's mind, the little things represent the promise of sex without the follow up. He hates that. Sometimes, I use that to my advantage, but mostly I want us both to be satisfied.
However, now that I write that, I realize that he's certainly become more willing over time to be frustrated. Example: I notice he will initiate sexual activity when knowing I won't or can't respond and accept the unfulfilled hardon that results. Small movement in the right direction?
I should also add--pet hooks up submission with sex more than any other time, despite being basically a 24/7 sub (we're not so black and white, but it works out that way). While his submission roots run deeper, he will always associate the two.
And I also want to say, his last post is a bunch of crap. Well, it's very complimentary and sweet, and I know he feels those things. I know that sexual satisfaction is important to both of us, and it really blows when we aren't getting there. BUT--if pet wants sex, making love, whatever, he will show me in certain behaviors. Those behaviors do not include telling me I hit like a girl. When he says that, he wants Dominance, whether he is aware of it or not. After pointing that out, he conceded I may be right. Heh.
Saturday, April 22, 2006My Side
I have to say that I would egg her on about any kind of sex we choose to have, be it vanilla or kinky or whatever. Just as I like to have a baseline level of D/s in our everyday interactions, I also like to have a low level of sexy play and provocative banter tossed about. Is it really egging her on? Possibly. I like joking with her and giving her a hard time about things she does well. That's who I am.
Also, she has such a beautifully expressive face and body. I love her reactions, especially when she's giddy or when she's playfully mean. I love how she leaps thirteen feet into the air and then does a flying kung fu hug attack on me that has nearly sent us onto the floor many times. I love how her eyes get so wide when I talk smack about her smack, then she gets a wicked smile and takes a breath and holds it while winding up for an attack. I love to surprise her, because she is so hard to surprise, and her body glows when I do it right.
I will say that when my needs aren't getting met (read: NOT ENOUGH SEX) I start trying to get a little sexy contact in whenever possible. This is not good for either of us, as it leaves us frustrated and demoralized because a touch here and a spank there and a really long goodbye kiss are just more reminders of us not having sex. This is different than me telling her she hits like a girl with the hope that she will retalliate. One is manipulation, the other is sexy play.
Yup. Those are my thoughts du jour on that.
Thanks for the suggestions! Interesting options, all of them. Strap on, though, that's a reward, not a punishment ;)
I'm considering what sartoga said in his comment about removing stimulus as a punishment, as pet's egging may be a cry for attention. I think, when I review, that he is right--it was a major cry for attention. We've had little time for sex, less time for a nice scene or seven, and when we are like two ships passing in the night I tend to retreat into wife and mother role. The Domme in me takes a break.
Mostly, I'm afraid of rejection from pet. I don't want to exert my domination in a vacuum, and when he's worn out and overdone, I'm really afraid he won't respond to me. That is not the way I want to operate, more an instinctual reaction to the distance created by a busy life.
I think, the way he goads me is his way of asking me for more D/s. I actually appreciate the hint. However, and this is a message for pet--I PREFER a direct request. Something along the lines of "hey, babe, you haven't really been dominant with me lately. Would you get down and dirty with it please?"
Sometimes, I think he doesn't even realize he's doing it.
Eh, in either case, he was sore all day Friday thanks to his mouth. I've decided I like the ping pong paddle best--packs a great whallop for very little effort on my part. That should hold him a few days, anyway.
Thursday, April 20, 2006What Should I Do?
With a pet who is constantly egging me into smacking him, then complains when he gets smacked?
Smack harder. Yes I know. He's in so much trouble.
Sunday, April 16, 2006Fast Times at PussyWorship High
Yesterday we were given the opportunity to have some fast though rather pleasant sex. We were on the couch playing a video game, a turn based one there was ample down time between moves and we were on the same team, so we played with each other while we were waiting for the game to be ready. Sometimes we would play with each other during the turn too just to mess with each other. Then the little one fell asleep in the afternoon so we put down our video game controllers and ran for the bedroom.
We pulled up the covers and snuggled together for about .2 seconds and then she pulled out her vibrator. Baby naps are precious, worth more than gold to us right now. She was already wet and de-hyper-sensitized from all the fooling around, so starting right up was no problem. (When she isn't ready for sex, I can't touch her nipples or her ears without causing her over-stimulation pain!)
She pressed the buzzing globe to her clit and went to town while I played rough with her nipples. I tend to favor one nipple pinched between my fingers and one in my teeth. Then, just like that, she was coming and I was being pushed off her. She had me tell her I wanted to fuck her, and how, and why I should be allowed to. I never really have any good answers for these questions but she's a caring domme and lets me have some fun anyway.
I had her put her feet on my chest while she lay on her back. She likes this position because it gets the tip of my penis to rub her g-spot. We've been encouraging my orgasm a lot lately so I had a little more staying power, enough to get her a 3/4 orgasm. I say that because she said it wasn't like another whole orgasm, but it was better than a half-gasm, which usually leaves her wanting more in a bad, frustrated way.
Other highlights of yesterday included her making me clean naked, and lots of sexual banter back and forth about where I should put the poofy dust wand. I was also extra cheeky yesterday at times, including such playful and baiting comments as "you hit like a girl" which I'm sure won me a visit from the enforcer later. My ass hurts thinking about it.
Thursday, April 13, 2006New Link
I wanted to explain the newest link, Blistered Lips.
I don't normally link to pro sites. We don't do this for money. Angela St. Lawrence is a pro phone Domme, far as I can tell. I found her via my stats, as she links to us. Her blog, the one I linked, is so smoking hot I couldn't NOT link to it.
This site is free, lots of content and holy freaking cow, the writing is hot.
Full disclosure done, now go enjoy!
True, but third person.
He comes to her in a particularly submissive and excited mood, but she's tired. She's overwhelmed with life and just basically done. She's feeling disconnected and old and boring. She figures they should just go to bed.
He accepts the response, but still maintains a loving and calm presence, and gently talks to her about the day, the week, and life in general until they are laughing and communicating easily. He says a few things on purpose to irritate her into smacking him around (with good humor). With the ping pong paddle. His ass gets sore and red, and he is more excited, but she's not ready. Not yet.
So he instigates a tickle fight. She wins. She always does. Now she's ready.
She requests (she rarely demands, no point in being impolite) a full body rub, he complies. He starts with her feet and gently runs his hands and fingers over her calves and the backs of her knees--he knows she loves that.
He moves upward, stroking belly and breasts, hands and arms. He ends in her hair, at first gentle, then rougher, pulling at the roots until she moans. He returns to her breasts and she is glad he finally accepts her demands for rougher nipple play. He attacks them with gusto, pinching, rubbing, pulling and biting until the trickle of wetness between her legs becomes a bit of a flood and she is ready for him. And he, oh he is ready for her. Cock hard and demanding as always, but his cock is not in charge anymore.
He slides inside her easily (condom in place). She demands rough treatment, to be fucked hard and long despite his urgency for release. He is up for it, and slams up hard inside her, groaning with the effort of holding back. She can feel the length of him and when she comes she makes him still, so he can feel it gripping him. He comes soon after with a loud shout and lays his head on her breasts, both heaving and panting with exhaustion and simple joy.
Sunday, April 09, 2006Wow
I can't believe it has been a whole week since I posted last. I hate that--I've just had little to talk about on the D/s front for the past week. We continue to have problems finding time/energy for each other, which makes us kind of boring.
Of course, there have been moments:
Pet painting my toes as we discuss the day and his stress at work. He seemed to be calmed and healed by the service to me, and we discovered a new color of toenail polish.
Pet bound and sitting (not so) patiently at the foot of the bed while I masturbated in front of him (yes, I finally did it, mwahahahaha. Fun.)
Pet practically begging to get beaten until I just gave in and bare handed his ass until it glowed in the shower.
Pet writing me a series of kinky haikus, a few funny and a few sexy ones.
Yes, there are always moments we sneak in here and there.
Sunday, April 02, 2006Deeper
Pet and I have been negotiating ways to take our power exchange a bit deeper, a bit richer.
Pet has acknowledged some fears and nerves holding him back, as much as I have acknowledged some fears of my own (largely, that he will reject me--so much humanity, so little time).
Pet has resolved to be a bit less snarky and a bit more submissive in attitude. I have resolved to be more forceful, more demanding sexually.
Pet spent a good long time between my legs this morning, making up for several days of missed worship opportunity. His face was smooth and his tongue was eager. He did so well, he earned himself a treat--a chance to worship my ass. He loves this, and frequently orgasms with his face buried in my ass. Lucky pet!