Tuesday, May 30, 2006New Links and pet in Trouble
Thanks to (omg, yet another) illness, our sex life has been sadly missing. Pray to Freya for us, won't you?
Children aren't so much people as little germ factories, I'm beginning to think.
Pet earned himself some serious time under the enforcer for the following:
me: "dear, do you think you should call xyz about xyz?"
pet: "nah, I'll do it later"
pet's sibling: "you should really call xyz about xyz"
pet: "oh, okay I will"
Oo, sent this Lady right into the red zone. You'll do it when someone else tells you to but not when I suggest it?!? He argued that I didn't outright "tell" him to do it, so he didn't do it. Not only did he tell me that, but saw no reason for me to be upset.
My thinking on the matter was this. XYZ is something that he understands much better than I do, and his evaluation of the situation is important. So he should make the decision with my input. Hm.
Well, if that is how it is...he can expect more directness from me in the future, and 10 from the crop for being snarky. Brat.
New links abound in the F/m section over there. Go enjoy!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006Shaving Revisited
Remember when pet was considering shaving his pubic region? We got lots of appreciated suggestions, and he went for it.
I really enjoy the look and feel of a shaved pet, that is for sure (guys, a tip--your cock looks much, much bigger when shaved or even trimmed). However...
I can't handle the stubble. My body is quite sensitive, and I noticed quickly that even a little bit of stubble or growback led to "beard burn" right on my most sensitive parts. NO THANKS!
Pet simply can not find time to shave daily--a delicate and careful process that takes up valuable minutes in the morning. Therefore, he has grown the hair back to a length that doesn't cause me pain.
Some would argue with me. Some would want me to demand that he wax or get up a half hour earlier each day to please me. While I agree that some things he does are for my pleasure, I have to balance the health and well being of my pet with my own needs. Pet needs his rest--he works hard during the day and comes home to my demands and the kids' demands. He handles it all admirably (now even more so, since all the discussions and decisions about D/s). His responsibility lies in making sure we're all set, mine is making sure he is cared for enough to do so.
Therefore--no waxing, no unwarranted pain for my sake. When we find the time again, he will be shaving regularly. But until then, I balance his needs with my own to keep us happy and healthy and prickle free.
I do miss the shaved look and feel, though.
Saturday, May 20, 2006Reservations
We're planning a short weekend trip out of town. It's to a bigger city where I used to know a bunch of people but not anymore, and probably won't see anyone I know without warning. We plan to frequent some public areas like downtown shopping districts and famous landmarks and possibly amusement parks. My Lady has proposed the idea to wear my collar for the trip.
So while I make reservations, I found I had some reservations about doing this (Wow, didn't see that coming, did you? AHAHAHAHA). While the lifestyle extends beyond the bedroom, thus making it a lifestyle, what is the extent to which it reaches? How far do we want it to go? How public should it be? We do this anonymous blog, frequented by hundreds daily, so what's the harm in a little public exhibitionism in an anonymous and inoffensive manner?
When I think about the prospect of "getting caught" and the ramifications thereof, I am a little scared. At home, around friends, we can control it and pass it off if something comes into question, but it almost never does. However, explaining something as physically present as a collar to say, my boss, is a little more difficult.
In reality, the chances of being put in a situation where this would be a problem in that city are minimal, and it sounds nice to expose ourselves a little more. So am I going to agree to it? Yeah, I will because I don't like living in fear and it's not a hard limit of mine or anything. So there you have it. I just wonder if I have any clothes that match it well so it doesn't look extremely out of place. Nothing like a white polo and cargo shorts with a black collar.
Thursday, May 18, 2006Ready
I'm horny, really horny.
A rare and pleasant side effect of PMS.
I have all kinds of delicious thoughts running through my mind.
Pet collared, arms tied behind his back, kneeling in front of me ready to serve.
Pet beneath me as I use him for my own personal dildo.
Pet's all over massages are nice. As long as it winds up with him massaging my clit with his tongue.
Sigh. Time constrains, but I'll find us a way.
Friday, May 12, 2006Temple of PW, Open
I've been stalling my post, because I enjoyed pet's eloquent post. So I just left it up for a while.
I have to say that he has been very dedicated to the task of submission, and I am pleased with his progress.
I wish I could define exactly what is different, but I have as much trouble defining what he is doing right as I did defining what exactly felt wrong before. Leave it to say, somehow we blundered our way through and we seem to be on the same page again.
My next goal for us is some serious time in the bedroom. Woot!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006Pet's Post
These are my comments regarding the whole "my type of submission" thing.
I really like sex and especially kinky sex. I really, really like getting off. In college I would masturbate about 4 times a day, to give you an idea of how much I like getting off. Why would I want to give up the ability to orgasm at all times of day and then go about my business at all?
The answer is that while it is great, it's not what I want. Orgasming quickly 4 times a day, while leading to a sore penis lots of dirty tissues to clean up, is indicative of me searching for satisfaction. I wasn't finding it with my hand. As good as it physically feels, it just has no emotional component to it and it is entirely predictable. (I can't tickle myself for that same reason.)
It took me a while to figure out what I want. When She and I first started having sex, it was pretty straightforward. I was new to partner sex and She was enjoying it, so we did it. We did it a lot, about every day, sometimes two or three times a day. That went on for a while, then she got increasingly more passive during sex, and I got increasingly frustrated because I couldn't please her. Enter Her telling me about her desire for dominance.
I hastily accepted the first time, but didn't know what I was in store for. That didn't work out to well. We took a break from it. She offered me the lifestyle again later, now letting me make an informed decision. She said it would be fine if I took door #2 as well if that is just who I am, with her on her back, I lube her up and fuck her until I come, then roll over and go to sleep. (I'm sure many partners expect that but few are ever offered that.)
Needless to say, I took door #1 again and haven't looked back. It took me a while to figure out that I wanted a deep, intimate, and trusting relationship. The reason our D/s failed the first time was because I never trusted her to take care of me. The reason our second run at it is so questionable and on Her mind a lot is because I still lapse into my non-trusting self.
When petty and trivial things bother me, it's me not trusting Her to take care of them. When I'm not fully present for Her, it's me not telling Her my needs because I think She won't listen or take care of them. It's unfair to Her that I do this since She has never failed to take care of my needs when I gave them to her. It's also unfair for me to expect her to make decisions for me and us when I don't keep her posted on my issues.
This is why it sometimes works, and when it does, it feels great (and I don't just mean sex). When there isn't as much going on or I actually take the plunge and trust her, it works out. This is what I am working the most on now. It takes a lot of effort to go against my extremely self-protective nature to come out of my shell and give her real trust. Yes, my submission fades when I have my walls up. It's really no wonder she often wants to stop trying to be my Domme when I'm in my bubble. My desire to have this deep, intimate, and trusting relationship supersedes the fear of not having my needs met, but sometimes I still lapse back into my old self. I'm only human.
I do believe there is a difference between a submissive man and a really nice but still self-serving man. I also believe that I am submissive at my core, and I have worked all my life to suppress it as a protective measure. I know more about myself now and what I want than when I first met my lovely Lady. I know that pushing my cares aside and giving my cares to Her are two different things, one leading to resentment and the other to fulfillment. Finally, I know that our love is strong enough to weather the bumps of emotional growth and development on both our sides, and I find peace in that.
Thursday, May 04, 2006The Enforcer
Pet took a round from the riding crop (lovingly nicknamed "the enforcer" around here) and did an admirable job of not whining too much.
He must be getting tougher.