Friday, September 08, 2006Blogger needs a Domme
I've been trying to post for two days and Blogger has thwarted my efforts every time. Very irritating.
Anyway, the trip was good, but served to remind me just how much time we miss out on daily. Pet wore his collar for much of the trip (though not out--we'll work on that ;). I had a lovely time.
Coming home with the obligations of real life can be so frustrating!
Pet has requested more authority from me. I believe I've written before about the inherent conflict of being a domme in love. I absolutely adore pet, and some part of me remains reserved about taking full control--after all, I don't want to hurt him or betray him. I don't want him to feel miserable in our life together, after all. Yet at the same time, he tells me he wants a heavier hand, wants to be guided and instructed.
It is my nature to be dominant, but it is also my nature to be kind, empathetic and loving. Especially with pet. Not that I can't be all of them, but I've found there are times when I really have to choose--to do the dominant thing OR do the nice thing.
Case in point--pet gives me pedicures around once a week. It is a lovely ritual we both enjoy, an open expression of D/s. Two nights ago he short changed me--he was tired and cranky and did a sort of "half ass" job then collapsed into bed.
The domme in me felt slighted. But the nice me understood his fatigue--the man works very hard and deserves every moment of rest he gets.
A tough situation. I chose nice. After a discussion later, we think I probably should choose domme more often. So that is my new goal. We'll see how I do.