Tuesday, September 26, 2006And then...
There are days I just take myself way too seriously. D/s is fun, why be so maudlin about it? Sheesh. That should go for all of us out here, too. I rarely find need to talk about how "it is" or how "it should be" because I'm no expert on anything outside my own life. But when I see people getting all riled up about this or that I have to think--just relax and have some fun people. Judgment gets us nowhere, nor does counterattack and side-taking. This is a small enough community as it is. Why not have more fun?
You all need a good hearty flogging. Care to come over? I'm in a flogging mood. (not really, no stalkers please)
I was flipping through old posts and found pet's drawings. We all need to encourage him to do more of this, after a month when his big project is done. My encouragement will come in the form of assignment, I think ;)
Have you been listening to Fetish Flame lately? (I have. Nova makes me all wiggly.) There was a great series of shows on beginner's BDSM in the last few days. See link to the left there. I WISH WISH WISH I could have been at Folsom. Maybe next year.
I want to be rough again. It comes in waves and here it is, waving. Poor pet (as if he doesn't love every minute--and complain every minute!)
More fun, less belly button gazing. That's my new goal.
Saturday, September 23, 2006Ramblings
Ah if only I was as eloquent as Lenora.
I'm in the middle of a personal transformation, though the worst part of it all is that I'm not really sure where I'm headed--what the final transformation will be like.
(not to worry, I'm not turning submissive. Hardly.)
I've wanted to write about it, but it isn't even clear in my mind, so writing it out is difficult.
The internal turmoil is related to power, personal power. I hit a rough patch in my own growth, and my sense of personal power was diminished greatly. I became adrift in my own self-doubt. It showed here in a sharp decrease of posts. It showed other places, too.
I learn, I grow, I change. I am exploring my spirituality and my relationship with my body. I'm exploring the ideas of trust and faith--in myself and outside of it.
As I've written and will probably continue to write, I am working on embracing my dominant wholly without guilt or shame. Seems to be going all right, when it works.
I gave pet a nice reward for his hard work around the house this weekend. See, I'm not all sadist! ;)
Thursday, September 21, 2006Nooners crop up
In our ever-present search for more time together, we took today's opportunity to get some physical love in. I came home for lunch from work to assist my lovely Lady with a project, and that took only a few minutes, leaving us with ample time to lay about together.
We sat on the sofa and I rubbed her feet; the tension in her upper body melted away (by her account). We talked about fantasies we had been having lately, and about our own, personal sexploration we had been doing lately. I found that I, when properly turned on in my head, can go from a soft penis to ejaculating in about 7 seconds, as evidenced by my time trials earlier that morning. (I didn't ejaculate because I didn't have permission, but I was on the final squeeze).
She decided to take me into the bedroom and bend me over the bed, then flog me until I was warmed up, kissing my ass with the faux suede tails and sometimes her mouth. Then, when she confirmed that I was sufficently warm, she told me to start masturbating and she was going to crop me until I came. The wincing pain of the crop certainly delayed the ejaculation, probably an extra 40 seconds, but the cum I left on the bed showed that it was well worth it. We then lay on the bed together for a while, cuddling and longing for still more time together.
Friday, September 15, 2006Yes
Added to the list of affirmations pet reads daily (or should...ahem):
Lady always wins arguments when the subject is irrelevant (i.e.--who sang such and such song). Only Lady may declare herself wrong.
Monday, September 11, 2006Girl interrupted
We started to make love the other day, following a shower and some petting and some general good natured play. We were clean and naked and the kids were napping and we were just happy to be alive. My lovely mistress was looking at me with a slightly concealed yet devilish expression from behind a wad of blankets. I lay next to her for a bit and we exchanged looks for a while, then I kissed her a little on her hand, then proceeded to climb over her to position myself for offering her a backrub.
I did this for a while, and she enjoyed it, and I bent down to kiss her on her rosebud. She was a little surprised but then said "I didn't say stop, did I?" and so I continued. I licked and pressed into her over and over while she cuddled the pillows near the headboard. After a while of doing this, she ushered me off and over to the side of the bed and then mounted me. She had barely started using me as a dildo before the kids started to rouse, which is an immediate mood killer. We had to stop for the rest of the day.
The next day we had a similar situation, again the kids were napping and so we dove into each other's passionate embrace. She broke out the butt plug and lubed me up, then slid it in and started to press it about. She then put me face down on the bed and mounted me from behind, pushing the plug in and out as she undulated back and forth. She then dismounted and instructed me to continue to fuck myself while she watched and masturbated with her vibrator.
I fucked myself hard as she instructed and she both stroked myself and her, and as she was about to come, sent me over as well. We lay there for a little while, naked and covered in our own juices, a little exhausted and very satisfied.
Friday, September 08, 2006Blogger needs a Domme
I've been trying to post for two days and Blogger has thwarted my efforts every time. Very irritating.
Anyway, the trip was good, but served to remind me just how much time we miss out on daily. Pet wore his collar for much of the trip (though not out--we'll work on that ;). I had a lovely time.
Coming home with the obligations of real life can be so frustrating!
Pet has requested more authority from me. I believe I've written before about the inherent conflict of being a domme in love. I absolutely adore pet, and some part of me remains reserved about taking full control--after all, I don't want to hurt him or betray him. I don't want him to feel miserable in our life together, after all. Yet at the same time, he tells me he wants a heavier hand, wants to be guided and instructed.
It is my nature to be dominant, but it is also my nature to be kind, empathetic and loving. Especially with pet. Not that I can't be all of them, but I've found there are times when I really have to choose--to do the dominant thing OR do the nice thing.
Case in point--pet gives me pedicures around once a week. It is a lovely ritual we both enjoy, an open expression of D/s. Two nights ago he short changed me--he was tired and cranky and did a sort of "half ass" job then collapsed into bed.
The domme in me felt slighted. But the nice me understood his fatigue--the man works very hard and deserves every moment of rest he gets.
A tough situation. I chose nice. After a discussion later, we think I probably should choose domme more often. So that is my new goal. We'll see how I do.
Sunday, September 03, 2006Update
We arrived at the hotel a little earlier than we expected so we had a few hours to spare before we had to be anywhere. We decided to take it easy and watch a movie, in bed, naked. We spent most of the movie cuddling and occasionally playing with each other's bits and pieces. When the movie was over, we were both very aroused and so She decided to push forward with love making.
She began by sifting through our toy bag (yes, one for clothes, and one for toys) and took out my collar, then some condoms, a glove, the little butt plug, and the lubricant. I got down on my knees and She put the collar around my neck. She instructed me to wear the glove and prepare my butt for entry. I lubed it up and began to work my way in while She watched. After a little time had passed, She climbed on top of me (I was on my side) and placed her hand on mine. She started thrusting her hips into her hand (and so into my hand and into my ass) as though to fuck me from behind. It was heavenly feeling Her over me, grinding and undulating away.
She rolled me onto my back with the plug in and bit my chest a few times. I winced a little. Then she mounted me and rocked back and forth a bit. She was dripping wet and I slid in and around easily though her tightness was equally pleasing. She rocked me back and forth until I was turgid, and then dismounted me. She pulled out a condom and applied it with great haste to my cock, then mounted me again.
I had prepared Her vibrator for Her earlier and She pulled it from the bedside table. She resumed Her love-making with Her vibrator resting on Her clit, my cock in Her pussy, and a butt plug in my ass.
Back and forth, up and down she moved, every motion pleasing to us both. She pulled my hands up to pinch and massage her breasts and nipples. I did so, but as all this progressed, I felt a swelling in my penis which meant I was about to come. She saw this and didn't stop grinding like She usually does, and the pleasureful sensation was overwhelming. In spite of my efforts to restrain myself, I came into the condom while She was still using me.
Though my cock started to soften, it was still enough to for Her to use to Her delight, and combined with the vibrator and my hyper-sensitive post-orgasm screaming, she climaxed. She dismounted me and lay next to me for a while, then told me I was going to be punished later for coming too soon. I told Her I looked forward to it!