Saturday, March 29, 2008Out of the Box
Sometimes I wonder if we should have a disclaimer of some sort:
"Warning, this couple doesn't fit the stereotyped mold very well. Please leave your expectations at the virtual door."
Or something like that. If you took a picture of us being normal, I would not be wearing black leather and wielding a whip. Not that I don't ever do those things, but my normal outfit is more...normal. My favorite clothes to be dominant in are comfy and stretchy, not binding and digging into my flesh. Why should I suffer? Many of the dominants I have met feel the same way--why should I dress up for you? You're the sub, you wear the corset!
Same goes for our sex life. We are a 24/7 couple as we see it--there is no time in our lives in which I am not dominant and he is not submissive. Saying that does not mean that our sex life is always a certain way or another. I don't always climb on top, or demand pussy worship (hee), or beat him senseless (only sometimes bwah). There are times in which I perform oral sex on him (I mean, every dude should get a blow job on his birthday, imho), or any other thing he enjoys. I gain pleasure from his pleasure in bed, as much as he gains pleasure from mine. Sex is a beautifully mutual event, and I think I would feel diminished, boxed in, if I had to adhere to certain rules of dominance in every situation.
In conclusion, being dominant means doing what I want, not doing certain things that "dominants do." My life is mine to choose each moment, being dominant adds a dimension to that which I treasure and take great pleasure in. But that doesn't mean I fit into a box.
Also, I don't punish, as such. I find the concept far to close to parenting, which I do far too much of without having to add pet into the mix. But believe me, when I'm disappointed in him, he feels it. I guess you could call that punishment, of a much more painful degree than a swat on the ass.