Friday, September 23, 2005Dis and Dat
I'm working on part two of Surprise, but for some reason it is like pulling teeth. I have it in my head fine, but it won't come out. Sigh. That's why I'm not a pro writer like others here on the kinkernet. Two boys? Seriously this should not be hard writing.
We're going out tonight! No kids, to a movie! Gee I feel all grown up. Pet offered to wear his collar for the occasion, which is a huge risk considering it is a straight up dog collar, not ornamental at all. He thinks he can sneak it by his PARENTS without notice. I say, well, humiliation seems to turn him on anyway, so woot!
This collar wearing thing is, I suspect, the culmination of a "discussion"/argument/come to terms moment we had last weekend about where we are going D/s wise. We talked a lot, and the final word was (taking a few hours/days of discussion and summing it up in one sentence) "prove you truly desire to submit, not just play kinky, and we go forward". That sounds really threatening, but I swear it is not a threat of any kind. I will always be with this man, the D/s is what is at stake, not us. Never us. No matter what the future brings--poly, D/s, more kids, no more kids, more money, less money, moving, staying put, whatEVER--I am committed and so is he. This is it folks, the real deal. So we'll see how the D/s turns out. I have faith, always, in my pet's bravery and desire to be his true self, whatever that is.
One last thing. Mona of Creative Nights In asked why we deleted a (well half) nekkid picture of me the other day. She is certainly quite brave in her "showings" over at her blog, and I highly recommend a trip over there. HOT! There's a couple reasons:
1. I think it was originally on Loveline back when it was a decent radio show, but some radio DJ was giving out romance advice when I was 17 or 18, and the NUMBER ONE RULE was "don't let your boyfriend take pictures of you naked". For some reason, I've always adhered. I felt it to be a personal expression of my self respect. PERSONAL--because I don't think anyone who takes nekkid pics or lets their partner take nekkid pics is disrespecting themselves. To each their own, of course, and I have great respect for those that risk and bare all, because...
2. I'm not a typically beautiful girl. I'm not ugly. I have a way about me that is sexy and even pretty, I think. I've come to accept my body and it's flaws and character over time. I treat it fairly well, but give it too many calories and my genetics suck. Therefore--I'm a bigger girl. That is ok with me now, but really, I don't need the negativity from troll commentors or just nasty people. Maybe pet will share how he sees me--his opinion is way better than any mirror or picture could be. And he is always bummed when I say no nekkid pics, lol.
Eh, maybe someday. The brave girls out there like Mona and Sarah inspire me!