Monday, April 24, 2006Dominating without Sex
saratoga, here, discusses training and Dominance. Proposes the theory of the D/s IV--give a bit each day, drip it into the vein, to keep the fires burning.
An interesting idea, and one I've tried (lightly) in the past.
I had mixed bag results, including in some cases building resentment. In pet's mind, the little things represent the promise of sex without the follow up. He hates that. Sometimes, I use that to my advantage, but mostly I want us both to be satisfied.
However, now that I write that, I realize that he's certainly become more willing over time to be frustrated. Example: I notice he will initiate sexual activity when knowing I won't or can't respond and accept the unfulfilled hardon that results. Small movement in the right direction?
I should also add--pet hooks up submission with sex more than any other time, despite being basically a 24/7 sub (we're not so black and white, but it works out that way). While his submission roots run deeper, he will always associate the two.
And I also want to say, his last post is a bunch of crap. Well, it's very complimentary and sweet, and I know he feels those things. I know that sexual satisfaction is important to both of us, and it really blows when we aren't getting there. BUT--if pet wants sex, making love, whatever, he will show me in certain behaviors. Those behaviors do not include telling me I hit like a girl. When he says that, he wants Dominance, whether he is aware of it or not. After pointing that out, he conceded I may be right. Heh.