Thursday, February 09, 2006Introspection
The non-sexual portion of our D/s relationship has truly blossomed in the last months, something I did not really anticipate happening when we first started out.
I've written before that we kind of set things up to be this way, long before we decided to acknowledge our relationship as one of power exchange. I made decisions then, I make them now. So why bother with all the big language and specifications?
I believe we needed this portion of our lives clarified because before this, everything was muddy. I knew in my heart I could make the bottom line calls on basically every decision we made, but I didn't feel safe or even fair doing it when pet had not outwardly consented to such an arrangement. After all, power exchange without the exchange is simply rule by force, and I balk at that very much.
Pet, conversely, has never been one for final decision making. And when I would look to him to make a call, he would get all confused and overwhelmed. I don't want to speak totally for him, but I would say the D/s has given him a great weight off his shoulders--if he doesn't know, he asks. If he is unsure, he looks to me for clarification. Simple.
Anyway, things seem to be going very well. I feel very at home in my role and pet and I seem to be getting along better in general. We had a tough year, our hardest so far, but I think things are at last settling down. We seem more relaxed, more open to each other and open to new experiences. Life just seems to be moving along peacefully.
When I look back on my life, I want to remember that every day, every quiet moment made a difference, made us happy. Not the big events, though those are fun, but the little tiny seconds in time where we chose to communicate, to love, to appreciate who we are and what we mean to each other. That is what I want to see when I remember.