Candace (Woman Rules Roost) has written recently about limits and got me thinking about them.
Pet's limits have changed dramatically over time. In the beginning I longed for a deeper submission, when he was still questioning the process and struggling with trust. But as time went on and we moved along, I found that he would go much deeper into submission--and by that I mean he would accept my direction without question, he would complain less and comply more.
Though there are many examples, let's look at pain.
Pet requested the spankings, to begin with. He wanted to experiment, to see what was so sexy about them. But he and I both hesitated at causing him actual pain. However, as the time wore on, he discovered a unique and unexpected masochism within himself. He doesn't get a hard on from pain, but somehow he craves it. As we've explored, we've graduated from my hand to a ping pong paddle to a rice paddle, the fly swatter, and finally the crop. There is no mistaking the pain of a crop, but there is no mistaking pet's desire for it, either.
His limits have changed. His desire for pain and submission has increased, his reluctance for the position has decreased.
I can't think of anything more sweet, really.
Amen to that, Her!
ReplyDeleteYou mention his limits have changed dramatically, that you were both hesitant at causing pain initially.
But your play has become more intense. You speak of his desire for the crop, how about your desire in administrating it? Are you also comfortable with this new level of interaction?
Destiny
At the risk of sounding trite and corny I think these self-discoveries and adaptations are much of what make life worth living.
ReplyDeleteIn our case Alexandra and I both started from a very strong S&M orientation. Most D/s couples do not own a sjambok. She can enjoy watching me whimper and I do eventually reverse the effect of pain until it seems as if my brain has slipped free of my body and soars.
Our evolution has been to discover that we can both be satisfied when I'm on the floor and rest my head on her knee. She might tug at my hair. Or pet me and praise me for being happy to just sit below her. And I can get everything that I need from a kind approval of my humility.
i fully understand the need for pain. i have never understood how i can crave something that i dislike so much. i'm glad to hear it's not just me but that pet feels the same way.
ReplyDelete