A Life of Service

Lately I've been rediscovering the joy of serving. I had some issues with situational depression and such (unrelated to anything d/s), but now I'm getting my life back from the depths of apathy. My Lady is very wonderful and patient, and for that I cannot thank her enough.

When problems arise in life, the first place it shows up (at least for me) is in my sex life. I feel too tired and uninterested to do anything sexual or scene-related. On the off chance that something does manage to tickle my fancy while I'm hurting, I focus on that a lot to the detriment of everything else. So, needless to say, this causes conflict and makes my Lady feel as though she is not my #1 priority in life.

I've just about managed to turn that around, and whenever I'm with her, I try to impress upon her my need to serve. I jump to my feet when she wants water, I make sure the dishes are clean, the kids are taken care of, the trash is taken out, her feet are lotioned every night, and I tuck her into bed.

I have trained myself to feel awful when my Lady has to do chores that are typically mine, (which counter-intuitively) is a bad thing. When I feel awful, I get mopey and clingy, and that's no good for her, so now I'm retraining myself to only feel a little awful and not respond with "woe is me, do you still love me?" which is hard but so worth it. It also keeps me from letting more of my chores and acts of service slip.