Tuesday, July 05, 2005Mistress Rant
So, our sex life was so rudely interrupted by me slipping on some water in the kitchen and hurting my back. Then, we spent 5 or so hours at the in-laws. A buzzkill if ever there was one. So, no steamy fun for the last two days, sad.
In honor of our lack of fun, I have a major rant I've been saving up: The broken butt-plug.
I don't think I can think of anything suckier than a broken sex toy. Then again, I've never been a toy person before. I've spent the majority of my sexual years getting by with my trusty Hitachi and some hot short story collections. I found really quickly that batteries do nothing for me. Of course, I never anticipated needing toys for my husband before.
So, him being the anal fiend he is, I bought us a vibrating butt plug (mentioned in a previous post or two). It was great, he loved it. He really loved it. So, one day, we're playing with it and I'm doing this thing where I turn it off/on/off/on and making him totally insane with lust (try this, it is awesome). So I turn it on, and it turns off. By itself. I ask him if he messed with it, he says "why on earth would I do that". I wonder briefly if it is a haunted butt plug. Turns out, the damn thing broke. I'm pretty sure that the wire that was attached to the external battery pack got pulled on (though I was being quite careful). But not hard, not even a tug, just a little pull and bam, no more vibrations. That really, really really sucks. And this thing was not cheap, either.
Lesson one: Internal battery packs only
Lesson two: Only buy from sub-shop.com. Better selection, better prices, better quality and everything (including leather) comes in purple.
I can't wait to try on the new strap on harness we got from them...watch this space!
Oh, and I totally agree with Gabby--can we find a better name than "butt plug" for heaven's sake?